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I didn't grow up learning to strive for excellence. It just wasn't talked about, expected or even an example set into my life. It isn't that my parents didn't want me to be my best...they did. My parents weren't taught how to live and work in the spirit of excellence themselves. How could they teach it to me?
At 33 years old I was introduced to the concept of living and working with excellence and diligence. I resisted. Who does that? Who really starts and ends their day truly giving everything they have? Surely no one does this...right??! I hired a business coach to help me wrap my head around what it means to run a business, how to lead and how to be someone who learns and gets things done. I never thought she would dig so deep into my life that she would become another mother to me. I have to tell you...at first, I loathed her.
She started by attacking me as a mother, a woman and a wife (even though my husband and I weren't married at the time). She asked me what my expectations/goals were in all these areas of my life. I only wanted to learn about business...why was she interrogating me about this stuff? Apparently, they are all connected. So, I let her continue. Who was I? As a mother? A friend? A daughter? A wife...oh wait your aren't married? Why not!? Is he a terrible man?? No...he's not, then why are you afraid to marry a good man? She came at me hard...what had I represented in the first 33 years of my life? ANYTHING? Was I satisfied or was I truly happy and living a life of peace??...and if I was in peace why did I go searching for someone to guide me? She had a lie-o-meter like no one I have ever met; I had no choice but to be honest. It hurt when I got real about the answers. It hurt because I realized my life thus far had been lived in fear and regret. And it made me mad. I was pissed that I had let myself become someone who had given 60% effort in 33 years of life. And that number is probably closer to 40.
You see...a lot of things have always come naturally to me. Sports, school, making friends, dating...I never had to get out of my comfort zone for any of them. The things that did make me uncomfortable, I avoided like the plague. It wasn't until this woman began to dig deep into my soul that I realized that I had only been putting in 60% effort into my life. MY LIFE! It hit me so hard I think I actually cried for about 3 days...straight. She said I had work to do and if I wanted to live the next 33 years without regret than I better get busy. So I did.
For the last 2 years I have been insatiably learning...about business, relationships, serving others, kindness, people, motherhood, being a wife. But honestly, I have been studying the hardest to get to know myself. I have been devouring personal development books, listening to other people I look up to in life (there aren't many), taking notes from my coach, and finding something greater than myself to focus on. I have slowly, and I mean slowly, learned to walk through my day with excellence and diligence. Some days I crash hard. I often put very high expectations on myself and those around me which creates a lot of pressure. What can I say?? I'm a work in progress.
Every day I try to be my best. My driving force is my littles. I never, and I mean never, want them to look back on their lives and see that they only gave 40%-60% effort. I want them to know I engaged with them to help bring them excellence through example. I am so far from perfect. Every single day I fail. I don't care anymore. It doesn't haunt me like it used to. Now I learn to focus on my sprouts and gratitude. I have about 5-6 journals in my life and they all represent something: a gratitude journal, sprouts journal, forgiveness journal, goals journal, write-everything-in-my-head-down journal, stories journal. {For my kids. So I can teach them lessons through stories.}
I could go on and on about all the great things that have happened since I took on this HUGE project of me. I won't. But my hope is, if anyone actually reads this they start to ask themselves questions about their day to day excellence. It all starts with something in your gut telling you there has to be more. There is always more...it's lurking, waiting, deep inside of you...wanting to come out. You gotta ask yourself; why not let it out?!
As always...
Health, hugs & happiness,
Yolanda