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So I'm a mama, right? You would think after a decade of being a mother of 1,2,3 kids I would have figured some kind of secret out about life. WRONG! In fact, I feel the opposite. The older I get and the more experience I have under my belt as a mother, business owner, wife, heck...human being, the more I realize I KNOW NOTHING!!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete idiot. {Although I definitely have my moments!} I have just come to a season in my life where I am at a crossroad, I guess. My lack of knowledge has me contemplating whether or not I am willing to put the effort into the learning curve of specific areas of my life. To study, research, grow, engage, give...it's all a part of every aspect of life that we want growth in. By giving 100% to these areas some other area inevitably suffers. For me, lately I have suffered in the wife & mother area. Our home has suffered as I cling to the idea that my business will explode. REALITY CHECK: There is no such thing as an explosion of business. It is hard earned. It takes years to build the foundation of something that will last.
What does this mean??? I have decided to step back a little from business. To put my energies into the areas where I want my life to grow; instead of focusing on areas where I lack. This is very hard for me. I tend to focus on some of the "needs improvement" sections of my life. {Gratitude journal will be starting up here again...as of today!} This means more love, energy, connection in my home. In my kids. In my marriage. The rewards for this are not always seen immediately. It's not like money. There isn't always instant gratification in being mama & wifey. It doesn't help that I am not one who can stay focused for very long. But I know...deep down in my soul that being a wife & mama is what I was always meant to do. Even through all my resistance to it.
I hope some of you understand what this is. It's not a rant, or even a complaint. It's just some of my inner most thoughts. Through it all I hope to connect with someone. It's hard enough in this world...let's get through the hard together.
Health, happiness & hugs,
Yolanda